Ways to boost employee morale that Google hasn't thought of yet

It's no secret that Google employees are spoiled rotten by the company. Google ranked in the top 5 on Fortune Magazine's list of the best 100 companies to work for in 2010 and snagged the #1 spot on glasswindow.com's list with the same name. Everyone who doesn't already work at Google wants to know: What makes working at Google so great, and where can I sign up?

Well, Google put together its very own list of the "Top 10 Reasons to Work at Google." The #1 reason to work there? Googlers get a FREE lunch! They also have access to on-site doctors, dentists, massage therapists and dry cleaning. Google should look into getting an on-site divorce lawyer, because with all those perks, I'd be surprised if Googlers EVER left the office.
Google knows that happy employees lay the foundation for a more positive work environment. They certainly know how to boost employee morale. Could working at Google possibly get any better? Folks, in response to Google's top ten list, I bring you:

Seven hilarious, only half-serious ways to boost employee morale that Google hasn't thought of yet ...

7. Replace all ball-point pens with Crayola crayons
Have you ever seen an unhappy person holding a Crayola? I certainly haven't.

6. Fill up the water-cooler with fruit punch
Water-coolers are so 1990s. Don't your employees deserve a little flavor?

5. Bring your mom to (do your) work day
Google may have bring your dog to work day, but bring your mom to work day is far better than that. After all, your dog can't write copy or fix you an afternoon snack.

4. Spike the fruit punch in the water-cooler
Ok, so it won't make your employees more efficient. At least they'll be more fun for you to be around.

3. Implement very casual Fridays
Heck, just abolish pants.

2. Siesta!
Allow employees to recharge their batteries with an afternoon Siesta. What's a Siesta? It's basically Taco Bell followed by a good 20 minute nap.

And the #1 hilarious way to boost employee morale that Google hasn't thought of yet...

1. Company retreat - Jersey Shore